It is a fearful place, my mind

It is a fearful place, my mind
It is a frightful place, my thoughts
It is the place where ghosts of the past come alive
It is a place where spirits of the dreadful future come alive

It is a fearful place, my dreams
It is a place where i am never alone
It is a place where all mistakes haunt
It is a place where every wrongdoing is repeated

It isn't a fairy-tale, 

It isn't a place with castles and sand
It is a place where fragile valuables break
It is a place where hope gets torn

It is a fearful place, this chaos
It is a place where things i don't wish happen
It is a place with no escape for it is in my own mind, in my head, there just is no escape.

All a lie

I kept telling myself, that the look in those eyes was a lie, it was all a lie

I kept telling myself, the warmth in the embrace was a lie, it was all a lie 

I kept telling myself, the honesty in the voice was an act, another lie, it was all a lie 

But something inside me said, the ending of it all, that was a dream, a lie, that was the biggest lie 

The fairy-tale had ended, there was no happily ever after 

The credits had rolled and the show was over 

The hall was empty and all had left except me 

Who sat there in hopeless faith to see more in the darkness that hovered 

Hardening With Time

I was told to be strong,
Nobody taught me how to.
They told me not to cry,
But they didn't give me a reason to smile too.

They told me the wounds shall heal,
They didn't tell me about the scars that will be left behind.

An unaccomplished task...

Close my eyes and shut down life
But my thoughts drown me
My lips are sealed, there is silence all around
Yet the feeling tears me down.

There was bliss a moment back
Which was followed by an abyss

A snippet form "A Train To Pakistan" by Kushwant Singh

Not forever does the bulbul sing
In balmy shades of bowers,
Not forever lasts the spring
Not ever blossom flowers.
Not forever reigneth joy,
Sets the sun on days of bliss,
Friendship not forever last,
They know not life, who know not this.

My life: an untold story

My life has twists and turns like that in a thriller or like that in a comedy movie
It seems like I could write a book on it or a motion picture that tells my story.

It is funny how it suddenly turns unexpectedly, does things I never expect would happen
And then when I 

What If...

A different attempt this time. Enjoy reading!!!

Security. A word that defined the way Samar lived. Financial security was the reason behind his low paying government job, emotional security was the reason why he was still living with his parents, but living, he hardly did any of that.If there ever were moments that he “felt” life, they were very few but the moments were very simple and to him, priceless.

He had felt happiness in being alive when he experienced the air whistling in his ears while he rode his bike. He had found the joy of living when he was served that yummiest butter chicken at one of the roadside dhabas.(* How ironical isn’t it, he felt lucky to be living when he ate a dead animal?*) He didn’t remember the name of that dhaba and hated himself for it. He had found the joy of living when the falling raindrops and the cool breeze made it difficult for him to stand yet he stood there to experience it.

But he had lived these moments when he was young and to him, now times and changed and he had to act responsible. So he never went on those rides where he would push himself further than the 60kmph mark or when he would allow himself to not wear a helmet when the weather was nice.

MY SOUL

I remember you today running down the hall

to greet me even if you were sleeping,

adhearing to every single call,

chasing you around the house,

as if you were some mouse.

You hid beneath the sofa set

and I was waiting for the ball that you went to fetch.

Sleeping in positions that would be hard to imagine.

Bringing a smile to my face every single time I saw you sleeping.

Walks at odd hours

with you besides me were never scary.

Today even the thought of it

makes me weary and shivery.

There is a lot more fromwhere these have come.

Memories of the time spent together

 which I will cherish all along.

The small things that were a part of my life

are long lost and will never come back

no matter

As I Leave..

“I have to leave right now, but I shall come back soon

Please wait while you can, for when it gets too hard, let me know

I might not even be able to come then, but at least I would know nobody is waiting

I may not be able to make your life more comfortable, but when it’s not

Smile for me, just a little, whenever you think it is fading”

“You ask too much of me, you give me too much hope

You ask me to wait for you as you leave.

I Wanna Be Me

In the darkness of the night
I walk on a path unknown
I don’t know where this leads to
I don’t know what I might find

All I know is that it’ll lead me to a place unknown
All I know is that there nobody shall judge me

Please Smile For Me This One Last Time

Put on your best smile and look at me for one last time
Don’t say anything to me this time, don't put on a frown, oh please no, not this one last time
I have only darkness to surround me, to it I shall succumb
Please smile for me this one last time, oh please.

I knew I might not live forever, who does

The Sheer Beauty That Was Her

“Sir, would you like another coffee?”
“No, thank you. Just get me the cheque please.”
His eyes still remained fixed outside,
His hands on the table alongside the 4 empty cups.

He sat there every day,
And placed the same order
He would look out the window overlooking the street,
Sitting all alone with his eyes focussed, not letting them wander.

At this time a tall slender figure would walk out the bank,
Her delicate hands holding a purse, file or putting away her black silky locks,

A Plain Sheet Of Paper

We all have a clean slate to start our lives with
Which we blot with our mistakes
Then take a peek into others’
As if to cheat in this life’s test.

Mine has too many strike through
Too many that it looks as if I am the most imperfect

Give it a thought..

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
The person you really are or the one who others want you to be?

I Plead Not Guilty

There are cases when you see some crime (major or minor) happen around you and you walk by thinking it isn't your business. But then are you not guilty? Inspired by the Keenan and Reuben murder case, and also the Jessica Lal case. Are the by-standers not guilty?

He needed my help but I didn’t know him

He saw hope in me, but I didn’t want any part in this

I was a bystander, a passer-by, who was at the wrong place at the wrong time

They had stabbed him in front of me, I had witnessed gruesome the crime

I went closer when they left,

Called the police as my first response

I tried to lift him up, called for an ambulance

But then I realised I had witnessed a murder, I would have to plead innocence

I tried running with blood stained hands

I tried washing off the stains off my shirt

Growing up, as it is..

I was at first given a world of my own

Where I was safe in a cocoon

It was like a dewy morning

But soon it was noon

My eyes were unaccustomed to the world as it is

My mind didn’t know how to make wrong from right

Yet I was placed in this merciless world

My Encounters With The Written Text

With every page I turned, with every word I read,

A new image formed or an already existing one got a stronger figure in my head.

It was blearing out what it hid inside its cover, it shouted all the details to me,

It told me the truth I thought in a way it told to no other.

I took it as a confidant, someone who confided only in me,

the endless wait..

The sofas seem to have been rusted
There seems to be dust everywhere i set my foot
But still it all feels better than new
When i left, i just went, didn’t bother to give it a second look..

The framed pictures on the mantelpiece
The smiling faces stare back at me
With the same innocence with which they saw me
When i was innocent too

That Last Moment..

The waves were cold beneath my feet
The sand got stuck in my toes
As soon as the water rushed towards me
I tried to spread my hands trying to take in all that moment had to offer
I wasn’t willing to say my goodbye yet, wanted to stay a little longer..

I haven’t had my share of happiness yet
I haven’t cried away all my pain
I haven’t told the people I love their value
There still is some unfinished business

Weight of The Words..

Words slipped out of my mouth
Like the grains of sand in a lose fist
I couldn’t realize how much I’d said
Until I was taken down by guilt

The pain inflicted by what then seemed merely words
Left behind only silence which is now resonating
Even after the blow of the harsh words lingered
I did not realize the cost of this shrewd trading

Trading like it is with emotions and feelings