MY SOUL

I remember you today running down the hall

to greet me even if you were sleeping,

adhearing to every single call,

chasing you around the house,

as if you were some mouse.

You hid beneath the sofa set

and I was waiting for the ball that you went to fetch.

Sleeping in positions that would be hard to imagine.

Bringing a smile to my face every single time I saw you sleeping.

Walks at odd hours

with you besides me were never scary.

Today even the thought of it

makes me weary and shivery.

There is a lot more fromwhere these have come.

Memories of the time spent together

 which I will cherish all along.

The small things that were a part of my life

are long lost and will never come back

no matter
how much I strive.

The night was dark,

sullen and sinking was my heart,

watching you painfully fight death,

the inevitable that was to come.

Finally a sigh of relief

when I took you from the doc’s room to the car.

You lifted your head and saw me once in that final hour

I said :”you’ll be ok!!”

That was the only line I had left to say.

You rested your head on my arm,

Then all of a sudden, your head shifted with the slight movement,

and silence fell over the hour.

I knew, it was the end

but did not want to believe.

My friend, my childhood, my brother, my family

were all gone

but, I was not ready to believe.

As we rushed back, desperate to catch any glimmer of hope

but doctor said “nothing can be done, the situation is out of my scope”.

The silence of the dark fell on me and clouded my mind

and in a long long time,

I felt I was alone in this panoramic world of mine.

Taking you home as you lay limp,

Thinking of you, as memories flashed through my Stone Age mind.

I felt the crack wide open as feelings swarmed in,

But not a tear I shed as I walked back home

Thinking was it me? Was it my carelessness? Could I have done something to change the tide of time? To save the one who was truly mine!

Burying you with all the feelings I had

As I patted you for that one last time on your back.

My heart was filled with foreign things, but nothing could be done as it was finally time for my awakening.

You will live long as you are a part of me.

You are my solitude, my feelings and my soul

Buried in a 4 by 4 whole.

I will miss you the most no matter what,

 You are the brother I never had,

 The one who knew all, All that I had!!